I'm bored therefore I blog

Alternative title: I'm self amused therefore I blog

It's raining right now and I just want to go to sleep. But I can't b/c they don't like that so much here. At my job.

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones are silly:

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas struggle to communicate, because he can't understand her Welsh accent. The Fatal Attraction star is so flummoxed by his wife's broad tones, he believes she is speaking Welsh when she is actually speaking English. She says, "I always go back to my strong Welsh accent. Michael thinks I'm speaking Welsh. He says, 'That's a beautiful language, you should speak Welsh more often.' I have to tell him I am speaking English!"

I don't know why that made me laugh but I can picture them telling the story, their funny little anecdote for parties and appearances on Inside the Actors Studio.

So I just turned 26 and I don't know if that's even relevant to my freaking out about what I want to do w/ my life (yawn) or just extraneous information but I am 26 and I'm still the same as when I was 25 or 24 or 23...but prob not 22 or 21. I was still in college then. Or maybe I'm not and I just don't know it. I can't keep interest in anything I do. As I've done many times before, I'm once again in my "I want to be a writer" phase except for a couple problems. 1) I can't write. I mean, yes, I can technically "write", but not well. And not anything worthy of reading. 2) I have no follow through. None whatsoever. I will give this up, I guarantee you, in 4-5 days. And I will completely forget about it until the next time I decide to be a writer. 3) I don't know if I necessarily like writing. I get bored easily and after an hour, I'm ready to quit and do something else.

I think I have ADD. Self diagnosed.

I also want to be an artist but I can't draw or paint. Can't be a musician b/c I can't sing or play an instrument. Can't be a doctor b/c I didn't go to medical school. And I can't think of anything else right now. I think it's b/c I'm hungry.

I told myself that I wasn't going to blog anymore, I don't really know why. But I had to when I found myself about to post all of this in a myspace bulletin.
Reagan

What you gon’ do with all that junk?

I told myself I would never blog again. And then Tuesday November 1st happened. Nothing actually happened and that's the problem. I'm bored. I'm desperately reaching out to any friend who might also be bored and who might possibly entertain me. Or listen (aka read their email/IM) to me entertain myself. I don't need a big audience, just one person. Someone to type the occasional "ha ha" or "lol" even if they're not really laughing.

Do you like my church sign above? Yes, it's true, I can't get "My Humps" out of my head. Do you want to make your own sign? You can do it. Just click here.

My friend Dave created one that reads: "No Jews Allowed: You Killed Jesus...Remember?" He can say that b/c he's Jewish. It's like how I can make as many jokes I want about white people, b/c I'm white. And I do...I make a lot of white people jokes.

I want to be a cowbell player

It's the only instrument I think I could master.

And I like the sound of it.

Reagan

Staring at the wall

My IM is down right now. I'm feeling a variety of emotions as a result- boredom, lonliness, anger, confusion, to name a few. I keep trying to sign on over and over again but it's always the same response: The AIM service can't be reached. Bastards.

I'm going to Austin tomorrow. Did I already say that? I forgot to tell anyone I was coming so while I'm just sitting here staring at the wall I decided to alert the masses. By masses, I mean Jessa. I gave up after making one call. I hate talking on the phone, esp to people I will be seeing tomorrow. So maybe I'll just wait and surprise everyone. I'll just show up outside their door and after they finish screaming/crying/jumping up and down with joy, we'll hang out hardcore.

Now I have to call someone to tell them that someone else is not a vegan. I don't know why, it's just what I have to do. It's a work thing.
R.

Longview...more like Lame-view

My mom sent me the following article via email with the subject title: Do you know this girl? No, I don't, but seriously- my hometown is lame. l-a-m-e. They wrote an entire article about a girl who is simply going to a town four hours a way to try out for American Idol. Did she make the cut? Nope. Just auditioning. Like thousands of other people. She is not special whatsoever.

Some Longview residents are hopeful the next "American Idol" will be the girl next door – literally.

Michelle Muckleroy, a teller at Telco Plus Credit Union on Gilmer Road, will travel to Austin next week for a chance to audition for Fox's hit reality television program's fifth season.

Muckleroy, a 1997 Pine Tree High School graduate, said her love of singing and a good time prompted her to throw her hat into the ring – or her voice onto the stage.

"It was just: Hey, what the heck? Go try it out," the 26-year-old aspiring singer said. "The reason why I'm doing it, it's something fun to do No. 1, and I would love to sing. I would love to perform. I don't mind being the center of attention."

She's had no formal training but was in school choirs since the third grade. She also sings karaoke from time to time and is asked to perform the National Anthem at work-related events.

She said her favorite tunes to sing are by country artists – Faith Hill, Martina McBride and others. Her song of choice for the audition, which must be done a cappella, is Alanis Morissette's "Ironic."

"She sings it pretty wild. That's not me, so I'm going to tame it down," Muckleroy said.

Co-worker Tammy Byrnes said Muckleroy has a shot at going all the way because she's a talented go-getter.

"She has a great voice. We think she'll do fine," Byrnes said. "Lots of people have dreams but she's one who has kind of pursued hers."

I'm not even going to link to this, don't want to bother. The Longview News Journal will never know.

Stuff.

I just ate a quesadilla faster than I ever have in my life. And no one is here to be impressed. Of course, if someone were here, I prob would have eaten it in a more lady like fashion (aka no binge eating). I like to maintain an image of sophistication and on occasion, glamour.

Undeclared comes out on DVD today. I know this because Judd Apatow wrote me (via mass email to freaksandgeeks.com subscribers) to tell me. I like to think that he personally wrote it to me though- as if he were sitting around and thought, "I bet Reagan would like to know about this." He's sensitive like that. I quasi met him at a screening for 40 year old virgin (quasi=was in his presence) and did I tell him how much I love him? No. Instead I stood there silently like a fucking school girl (is this a common saying?) and muttered one lame sentence, not enough to make him say, "You should come work for me" but it did somehow elicit a "Nice meeting you" even though we were never actually introduced. Judd, if you can hear me, my name is Reagan and it's nice to (quasi) meet you."

Yeah, if I were to re-read what I just wrote I might reconsider posting it, but frankly I don't care. I am an obsessive fan, take it and like it. I'm also having another freak out day. No need to go into detail, if you know me, you know what I'm talking about. But this time I'm referencing 6 feet under and talking about how we're all going to die someday anyway and what does it all matter and blah blah blah. I'm also concerned about the fact that I'm wound pretty fucking tight and I need to find a solution to this problem. Here's what I have so far: 1) Get laid or 2) Get Xanax. Or perhaps both, in no particular order.

I'm going to Austin on Thursday and I can't wait. I have to wait, but I'd rather not. I need my mini break. B/c while my co-workers take week vacations, I take 4 days vacations (incl weekends). Yeah, poor me. Sure there are people starving in the world but I only get a 4 day break from my job. It's such a tragedy, online petition to follow.

Back to work. Hi ho.
R.

p.s. This amused me, but I'm going to try to remember a quote from King of the Hill the other night, said by Dale Gribble to Bill after he joins an all male chorus:
"This chorus is the feces that results when shame eats too much stupidity."
Yeah, I think that's about right.

This is my porn

If you love Jake like I love Jake (aka a lot) then check out the trailer for Jarhead. It looks fucking awesome.

Blowjobs for bracelets

I have a confession to make: I recently became addicted to MySpace. Not really, but sort of. Basically, I can't stop trying to add friends. I started feeling lame that I only had 6 (including Tom) and in an effort to reassure myself that people do indeed like me, I went on a mission to MySpace the shit out of everyone I've ever known. But that really only lasted maybe a 1/2 hour.

I'm getting a haircut tonight. It's going to look fabulous. Or at least not strung out as is my current style. Kind of fried from too much blow drying, the split ends making it one big frizz ball. Sexy, right? I could completely lie and tell you I look like Kelly LeBrock from Weird Science. I'm about 20 years late on that reference.

OMG. I forgot to tell you (meaning Ashley, who I will IM right after I finish typing this)...I saw the premiere of Degrassi from a few weeks ago last night. It...was...crazy. There's this thing where girls give blow jobs and earn bracelets and Emma starts doing it then gets gonorrhea. I'm serious as shit. Those Canadians don't pussy foot around, they get down to the hard core issues. And this Friday, Jay and Silent Bob will guest star on the show- how weird is that?

Okay, back to work.